15 Questions to Identify Abuse
Safety Plan from the American Bar Association
Domestic Violence Bill of Rights
Education
What are the Types of Abuses by which Abusers Exercise Power and Control Over their Victims?
Psychological Abuse
The batterer tries to frighten the victim by intimidation, threatening direct harm, kidnapping, harassment, killing pets and/or destroying property.
Emotional Abuse
This includes making, or trying to make a person financially dependent. For instance, by maintaining control over both parties' income, withholding money or access to money, keeping the victim from outside activities such as school or employment, harassing the victim at work, and requiring her to justify all money spent.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is coerced (not consenting) sexual contact. For instance, rape and beating of the sexual parts of the body, as well as forced bestiality, prostitution, unprotected sex, fondling, sodomy, sex with others, or use of pornography. Sexual abuse may also include undermining a person's sexuality with insults and unfounded accusations of infidelity. Rape in marriage is illegal, yet it happens all too often. Rape can happen if intercourse starts while the victim is asleep.
Physical Abuse
This is hurting someone or trying to hurt someone. For instance, by grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting with objects, stabbing and shooting. Other types of physical abuse include withholding access to resources necessary to maintain health, i.e., medications, medical care, a wheel chair, food or fluids, sleep, hygienic assistance. An abuser may also force his victim to use alcohol or drugs.
Legal Abuse
The abuser may drag his victim through a vicious custody battle or an expensive court case when someone leaves the other partner. They may give less than what is deserved by law and may drag out the proceedings. He may refuse to pay court ordered support or alimony or to turn over assets. This may sound like a typical divorce, but abusive divorces continue a pattern of abuse established in the marriage. Incredibly the abuser often tries to win back his spouse during or after the abusive divorce. More incredibly, she sometimes goes back to him. The point is the abuse does not end when the woman leaves. It continues in another form.